Lack of sadness is wonderful

My computer is gone. Gone! Well, it's still in the house, just not in my room. It's been brought down to my dad's work place for fixing. Though he might not be able to do much. All my everything is on that computer: writing, pictures, applications, games... life?

I am also lacking a sense of purposefulness. I know I need to: get a job, look for a way to publish small, read more, study more... blah blah blah, my brain says. What is wrong! I want to schedule a meeting with my brain. We need to have a chat... (What a paradox!)

I am lacking money! That goes with saying I am lacking a profession, a career... job. Part-time is what I need. I am looking now... This is procrastination.

I lack pencils. Mechanical pencils, to be exact. Not the lead; I have lots of that. They just run out of the eraser so fast! Damn it! They don't cost that much, but I still need them :(

I lack conversation skills. All I can do is be sarcastic. And listen. People like me for my listening. Maybe that's a good thing?

I have been lacking a specific other for... a little less than a year. That's not a big deal though (it's basically last on my list, as you can see.) I like a guy, so what. Does he like me back? It's a possibility. Too bad we're both too shy to say a goddamned thing! -fails-



The point is, I am not ashamed of anything I lack. I have a laptop, my purpose doesn't need to come just now, my family is not in the slums (yet, is what my mom says. so pessimistic), I can always by pencils at Rite Aid, my sarcasm makes people laugh all the time, and boyfriends suck (I should know; my last one heard voices).

I love life -hugs all-

But I really wish my computer were okay... I worry about him all the time! -not crazy-