Finally have a working computer...

Yeah, it's true. Now I can do everything I usually do, except look at old files. They're all gone :(

Oh well, it's just like spring cleaning! Back to writing on www.aquapotato.deviantart.com and it's been good. Caught up with everyone and feeling great.

Just saw Slumdog Millionaire. Loved it! Coraline too, very good adaptation of the book.

Looking for a Future...

Looking at different colleges has become -not a joke- but a sort of newly discovered past-time. I look at this place and say, "Look what I could be!" and this place, thinking, "I do not want to be surrounded by women 24/7!" It's not that I can't wait to go -- I'm actually slightly dreading leaving my small hometown -- I just feel better about it now. A few months ago, I didn't even want to look. Now I actually have an idea -- or many -- about where I might want to go.

Lack of sadness is wonderful

My computer is gone. Gone! Well, it's still in the house, just not in my room. It's been brought down to my dad's work place for fixing. Though he might not be able to do much. All my everything is on that computer: writing, pictures, applications, games... life?

I am also lacking a sense of purposefulness. I know I need to: get a job, look for a way to publish small, read more, study more... blah blah blah, my brain says. What is wrong! I want to schedule a meeting with my brain. We need to have a chat... (What a paradox!)

I am lacking money! That goes with saying I am lacking a profession, a career... job. Part-time is what I need. I am looking now... This is procrastination.

I lack pencils. Mechanical pencils, to be exact. Not the lead; I have lots of that. They just run out of the eraser so fast! Damn it! They don't cost that much, but I still need them :(

I lack conversation skills. All I can do is be sarcastic. And listen. People like me for my listening. Maybe that's a good thing?

I have been lacking a specific other for... a little less than a year. That's not a big deal though (it's basically last on my list, as you can see.) I like a guy, so what. Does he like me back? It's a possibility. Too bad we're both too shy to say a goddamned thing! -fails-



The point is, I am not ashamed of anything I lack. I have a laptop, my purpose doesn't need to come just now, my family is not in the slums (yet, is what my mom says. so pessimistic), I can always by pencils at Rite Aid, my sarcasm makes people laugh all the time, and boyfriends suck (I should know; my last one heard voices).

I love life -hugs all-

But I really wish my computer were okay... I worry about him all the time! -not crazy-

Good to be typing

Computer has a wonderful malfunction. I love things that run on electricity.

This is my laptop, and I love him. He's different; he's battery powered!

Anyway, I'm thinking about what to do to get noticed. My school has dumped its Literary Magazine, so there goes that. Now I am combing the web for contests and such to get a little notice. I need to do something, yeah?

Almost finished with a personal project that took me a good month. Just typing it now, last minute changes and such. :)

Sudoku is a wonderful game... :D

Satuday... Not So Wonderful

I love Satudays. No school, be with friends, whatever you want to do (Usually I'm tucked in a corner reading/writing, but whatever)!

Well, I wasted my Saturday:
-arguing about customer's wants versus the seller's wants. Isn't it true that the customer is always (well, 99.9% of the time) right? I hope she learns that...
-procrastinating from studying by playing Ant Buster (love it!) on addictinggames.com
-got my dad pissed off
-watched A.I. (and cried)
-played GH World Tour at my friend's house; more procrastination

I'm going driving tomorrow. For my first time. I'm really scared. I've never been the best at those racing games, and my hand-eye co-ordination isn't top-notch either. I just hope I'm not one of those new drivers moms see then tell their kids, "When you drive, don't be like her!"

End of Robots, Begining of Computers

Hah. Title = in Genres, we finished Iron Man :( But we've started The Matrix. I would be iffy about it if it weren't for the fact I will actually be learning something by watching a fiftyfirst time. Our teacher worked on The Matrix and has a lot of symbolism to show us.

But what she said to us was priceless. The conversation started off introducing the complexity of The Matrix: the TV does not exist.

Okay, fine. Here's the breakdown: TV -> plastic -> whatever plastic is made of -> atoms. The TV is really atoms. Therefore, is it a TV at all? Can you see an atom; smell it; taste it; hear it; touch it? Is the TV really there?

Amazing discussion. But this girl, we'll name her Student A, was, and always will be, slightly if not toally confused. Stereotypical cheerleader, you know (I only say that because I know very smart cheerleaders. Good for them)?

Anyway, Student A said, "Ohemmgee, none of us exist!"

And I, always the sadist, said under my breath, "Yeah, I wish you didn't exist."

The teacher had a wonderful laughing fit. Maybe she feels the same?

Also, I agree that Keanu Reeves was the only and best mand for The Matrix, but I still don't like his acting. So, Neo = Keanu Reeves and Keanu Reeves = the most boring actor on the face of the earth.

Sorry Keanu fans.

Also, I hope it's perfectly normal to become obsessed with something you're writing/have written. Yeah...

Lack of Photos!

Usually I go outside to take pictures of nature, but as of now it is officially really freaking cold. So, I have resorted to finding artistic spots in my bland house. I only found one, a chair near a corner. When I took the picture, it made an awesome shadow, then I edited it to put a sepia twist on it.

Going to Philidelphia tomorrow with my AP Chemistry class. Hoping to take lots of artsy-fartsy pictures there, not just ones of my friends! Well, friend. I only have one in that class.

I also found an unused, 5 subject notebook that I swooped up and am now going to use for writing down synopises that I randomly think of, or random quotes and such.

I hate starting something on a laptop, then having to e-mail it to yourself to get it done on the desktop. I wish they could talk to each other; that would be so helpful.

My Autosave has failed... I wonder if that's a bad thing?

Everyone's pressuring me for SATs... I've taken it before, but it didn't count. I guess I want to be good when I really take it, but it's like everything is weighted upon this one number. Pressure, pressure, pressure. My math teacher blew up on us again. Said none of us were prepared for life, and that we would be dead outside of high school. She scares me; please just teach me math!

Okay, Peer to Peer went well today. As a Peer Leader, it is my job to mold the squishy minds of tender freshmen. But, they don't want to be molded. But they're so cute, I just laugh at them. And my senior partner is so awesome, it all just goes really well I think. Even though it's just the same four kids talking... I try to get them all to, but you know those kids who even if they talk no one listens anyway. I hate that... I think I used to be one of those kids. Probably still am!

I think people will listen to me... one day.

Belts Suck

The tight ones constrict your fat.

Off that subject, I hate when you text someone with just a, "wazup?" and you get the fastest response ever, but when you text someone with an urgent message, you never get a response. Ever. It's like, "No?" That pisses me off.

But, in math, we got a big project-like thing back. Got a 96, very happy; the smart kids got 88s and 90s. Made my day a little better.

I am finding that I have a fear of doing things the wrong way. Not like the normal, "Oh darn, I messed up on that paper!" No, it's like an intense fear. I wonder if there's a name for that.

There are people I know that care way too much about school. It's like, SATs this, or, Math test that, and, holy crappers English! -_- Sometimes, I just want to tell them to take an asprin and stay still. One day, I will pile them all into my car, drive to the mall, and make them walk around with me. We'll have some fun, go to the movies, eat at McDonalds, and discover the magic of a lack of uniform education and studying. Damn smart kids.

Oh, I want to write, do well in school, get a job, learn to cook, watch all my favorite TV shows, and hang out with my friends. Is that so much to ask?

That was a rhetorical question.

Oh, my math teacher...

Oh my goodness. So in honors Pre-Calc today, we were all toast, all twenty of us. Many of us just had a drilling English period before this and the seniors I know just had some kind of test. So, she was trying to get us to derive one equation from another. I knew it could be done, we'd done it before; but I just couldn't pay attention! None of us were into the class that day like we usually were, or at least I usually am. I was staring at the clock waiting to leave, even though there were twenty minutes to go. Anyway, she totally flips out. She tells us we're the worst honors class she's ever had, and that none of us are going to succeed except for two of us. That we won't get into the AP Calc class because we don't like to work, except for those two that she talked about before. It's like a clone of my mother every fifth period; I thought I could go to school and escape her!

So, anyway, my friend and I get into our next period class. And we're both saying, "No, she meant you," about the 'special two people' thing. We're jealous of each other for no reason at all.

Also, our school is going to participate in a campaign for Aveda where we collect caps to recycle, and I'm apparently in charge of getting it started. I know it will look good on college apps, at least that's what my teachers tell me, but I have all this weight on my shoulders right now! To an outsider, filling out a small form and talking to teacher may not seem like much, but once the ball gets rolling, I know other people will want to talk to me. Or what if they make fun of me! Everyone already calls me a tree-hugger, just because I always throw my plastic in the recycle buckets, and am a vegetarian. It's just... None of them understand that if we don't take care of the earth we live on now, we won't be getting another one.